But no matter how hard you try, you still don't have one.
Pain from insecure attachment is curable. Whether you avoid relationships like the plague or find yourself drawn to an emotionally unavailable person, it's not the rest of your story.
You're either single and frustrated or in an unsatisfactory relationship and frustrated.
You believe healthy partnerships exist, and you want one more than anything, but you can't figure out why you're constantly putting breadcrumbs together.
If you're digging into what the issue is, you may (falsely) believe there is something wrong with you and you don't actually deserve a happy relationship.
Perhaps you should just settle.
I wasn't entirely sure what it was, but I was convinced everyone else saw it. I was an anxious avoidant either running away from relationships or anxiously attached as though my life depended on it. I felt like crap, I had no idea what was wrong with me. This fear of being exposed kept me closed, limited and believing I deserved the tiny breadcrumbs of love and attention I received.
Instead of looking at why I kept wanting partners who couldn't give, I went into overdrive, busting my ass so they couldn't resist my trying to force them to give me what I wanted. It was exhausting... and it didn't work.
What I didn't see at the time was that all of my focus was on THEM.
Eventually I realized that if I wanted a happy relationship, I needed to focus on loving ME. Believe me I had zero clue as to how. I just knew, if I didn't start dealing with me nothing would change. I discovered I had insecure attachment, which explained why my issues felt bigger than me. As though I was in a bottomless pit of despair hanging onto someone or I was surrounded by a wall of fear that kept me stuck and alone. My partners weren't open and available because I wasn't open and available.
And you can too. Beating Insecure Attachment is possible! Ready to finally start moving past it?
My 30-day online course focuses on giving you tools to change your insecure attachment issues. True change can only happen internally, by shifting your childhood conditioning and this course will point you in that direction. It's a wake-up call for what you thought was the way to a healthy relationship, showing you what actually gets you there. Trying to fix the other person will keep you trapped on the hamster wheel.
Through daily videos and exercises you will increase your awareness about how you have been reacting to your conditioning in relationships since childhood. Tools are provided to show you what you're doing to choose unhealthy relationships and why. You will be asked to dive deep into your beliefs, patterns and behaviors to understand and take action from the root of your anxiety and discontent. It will be uncomfortable, but that's the point.
Getting uncomfortable can be... well, uncomfortable. At some point in the course, you may find yourself avoiding the work. (yup! like a true avoidant or anxious/avoidant) This is good ol' fear trying to nudge you back to your comfort zone. It is completely normal, but that doesn't make it easy to overcome. If you are the kind of person who needs a little extra help and support, my team provides one-on-one laser coaching sessions.
During your 20-25 minutes together, you get deeper into the internal obstacles you're facing. You'll gain insight into what's going on at a deeper level, which will help you move forward. Want more info! Email Sheila@tracycrossley.com
Want a tour? Let me walk you through the course and its features to give you a taste of what to expect!
“Purchasing this 30-day program is one of the best gifts I have given to myself because I deserve to be happy! I truly believe that, and I want to learn how to be happy with myself, so I spent this money on ME, ME, ME! Yay!!”
"To help me in my daily life, I signed up for Tracy’s 30-day online course. I now take time daily to pause, feel and honor what I am feeling and locate where that is, then identify why I feel that way when something comes up that is uncomfortable for me. I have jumped off the Crazy Train to ride the Happy, Joyful, Peace Train and I am grateful!"
"I recently started communicating with my guy differently, taking emotional risks and deciding that if he can’t handle it, it’s not a relationship I want. At first he didn’t do well with the ‘new’ me and I thought the end was near. To my surprise, however, he started communicating with me the same way that I had begun with him! I feel like we’ve crossed into some brave new world of transparent conversation that I did NOT expect, but am so happy about. So I just wanted to say thank you for all the free resources you provide, and to say that the Emotional Cleanse course is really great! I love the bite-sized chunks, and the exercises are just perfect. I have my little journal where I reflect on concepts from your podcast, so I've been doing the exercises from your course in there too. You're amazing, Tracy. You really have changed my whole way of relating to MYSELF."
"I love the concepts Tracy teaches, which speak to me and make a lot of sense. I know they have to be practiced and learned on an emotional level over and over, but I’m confident now that I have new tools I trust. I’m grateful to Tracy for providing these tools, and for the awareness I now have around my painful patterns that I didn’t know were part of my thinking for years."
The 30 DAY INSECURE ATTACHMENT CLEANSE is led by me, Tracy Crossley, a Behavioral Relationship Expert. My work centers on emotional connection—with ourselves and others—to help you get out of your head and uncover the belief system that drives your behavior. This came from MY PAIN and finding a way out of my issues from childhood conditioning. You will be dealing with your pain--the pain you have inside that you have tried avoiding. If you want to stop attracting pain in your relationships--you have to deal with your pain. As someone who struggled with insecure attachment issues for most of my life, I shares my experiences with equal parts empathy and humor. I have been there, and know how much is available to those who refuse to settle. The work I do has led hundreds of people to greater self-acceptance, emotional freedom and a more authentic life.
You can’t give or receive what doesn’t already exist inside. Learn how to fill yourself up so you attract a partner who meets you where you are; someone who is also able to give and receive.
The 30-DAY INSECURE ATTACHMENT CLEANSE FOR HEALTHIER RELATIONSHIPS will help you refocus your perspective.
You deserve to feel empowered in your love life. You deserve to feel happy and fulfilled. You deserve to take control of the things you have the ability to change. And you are capable of all of it!